A biologist, a physicist, and a mathematician are sitting in an outdoor cafe. They watch two people go into a building across the street. Shortly thereafter, three people come out.
“Hmm,” says the biologist. “It looks like they reproduced.”
“Nah,” says the physicist. “There was obviously error in our initial measurement.”
The mathematician looks up from his coffee. [...]
I have a small plastic bag with dice in it stuck to my cubicle wall. Below it are instructions on how to use the “Project Time Estimator.”
The project director came into my cube a few days ago to ask how long a particular task would take. I got the trusty dice out, threw them and [...]
According to Wikipedia the original version is this one:
Q: How many [insert chosen group here] does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Ten — one to hold the lightbulb and nine to turn the ladder around.
For those of us using Yahoo Groups or other similar services:
One to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
Fourteen to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
Seven to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
Seven more to [...]
A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:
“Dear wife: You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or [...]
PICNIC: Problem In Chair Not In Computer.
Shorthand of IT technical support staff to describe ‘confused’ users.
WYSIWYG: What You See Is What You Get.
WYGIWYD: What You Get Is What You Deserve.
Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the edge of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee screeches to a halt next to him.
The driver, a young man dressed in a Brioni suit, Cerrutti shoes, Ray-Ban glasses, and a YSL tie gets out and asks the sheperd [...]
January 26, 2007 – 9:45 pm
A Buddhist approaches a hotdog vendor and says: “Make me one with everything.”
He gives the vendor a $20 bill and waits. Finally he says: “Where’s my change?”
Says the vendor: “All change must come from within.”
January 13, 2007 – 3:03 pm
A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you [...]
January 7, 2007 – 10:12 am
A man walks to 5th Ave. & 42nd St. in New York City during a terrible rain and somehow manages to get a taxi immediately – extremely lucky. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says: – “Perfect timing. You’re just like Sheldon.”
The man says: – “Who?”
“Sheldon Cohen. There’s a guy who did everything [...]