When you need to translate English into lingo or vice versa, go to transl8it.
Posted December 26th, 2007 by doodling
Posted December 3rd, 2006 by Bengt
A Russian woman married an English gentleman and they lived happily inLondon. However, the poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn’t know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.
The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn’t know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts! The butcher again understood, and gave her some chicken breasts.
The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store…
(Stop, for a moment, and try to visualize what you think she did. Then, scroll down.)
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What in the world were you thinking?
Hellooooooo… …her husband speaks English!
Now get back to work.
Posted December 2nd, 2006 by Bengt
A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting.
“Entschuldigung, sprechen Sie deutsch?” he asks. The two Americans just stare at him.
“Excusez-moi, parlez-vous Français?” he tries. The two continue to stare.
“Parlano l’italiano?” No response.
“Hablan ustedes Espanol?” Still nothing. The Swiss guy drives off, totally frustrated.
The first American turns to the second and says, “Y’know, maybe we should learn a foreign language.” “Why?” says the other, “That guy knew four languages, and it didn’t do him any good.”
Posted December 2nd, 2006 by Bengt
Here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
