doodling

1. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2. Wrinkles don’t hurt.
3. Families are like fudge . . . mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4. Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
5. Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.
6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
7. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
8. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
9. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
10. You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
11. It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
12. Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
13. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

Sometimes reality tops fiction. I got this one as a CNN Offbeat Alert.

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) — A 43-year-old German decided to settle his imminent divorce by chainsawing a family home in two and making off with his half in a forklift truck.

Police in the eastern town of Sonneberg said on Friday the trained mason measured the single-storey summer house — which was some 8 meters (26 feet) long and 6 meters wide — before chainsawing through the wooden roof and walls.

“The man said he was just taking his due,” said a police spokesman. “But I don’t think his wife was too pleased.”

After finishing the job, the man picked up his half with the forklift truck and drove to his brother’s house where he has since been staying.

A disgruntled Utah homeowner installed a decorative cactus-shaped vent cover resembling an extended middle finger to get back at his neighbors.

See the Middle Finger Cactus Vent Cover at Snopes.